One Smiley Face Balloon in Review

I sit in between big boss and little boss as they tell me what they think of me. "We want you to be a key player in our organization", says big boss. "But you need to start taking your job seriously", adds little boss. I wrinkle my forehead in thoughtful concentration, as I squint with reasonable determination and I imagine the two of them in a wressling ring wearing tights and capped leotards as they tag team berate me. "We value your efforts and the skills you have brought us, but we are concerned with your attitude." "My attitude?" I repeat as I look at the arrangement of yellow roses on little bosses desk. "Your teasing, primarily." I squint harder. The card reads -To my sweetheart. "Really?" Sweethearts get red roses. The color yellow is for buddies. "Yes, we know you are making friends with the guests over in your building, but your teasing my be taken the wrong way." One of the flowers heads is hanging limp. It's lone stalk can't reach the water. The rest of the bouquet is flourishing. "But I treat them like my family. They like it when I remember to give them my personal attention."I picture myself with spatula in hand, doing my impersonation of a pirate chiding my new mates on the dangers of scurvy if they don't eat my vegetables. "You should rethink that." The memory of me trying to playing donut ho bowling with my guests pop straight out of my imagination. I hang my head and memorize how the brown weaved into the beige strands of the carpet all take turns uniformly. "Ok", I mumble and I think of how much I enjoy the sound of the metal of my knives against the edge of the rasp as I sharpen them. "We don't want the human resource department on our backs. We need to keep you in tune with what is politically correct."I look up and stare past them out the window where I can see the happy face I drew on the balloon that I had tied earlier to the rail out side Don, the deaf mute dishwashers window. "It's not like we are against you having fun, you get need to be a team player."The sigh I release has its start in the sick snake region of my belly."Your co-workers enjoy working with you. Maybe you could participate more." In my head it is Foghorn Leghorns voice coming out of big bosses body. "Try some of the charitable activities here?" Why?, when I would rather be home in my underwear eating peanut butter straight out of the jar with my fingers and teaching myself to tango. I laugh and nod in agreement to the tune from "Last Tango in Paris" that is running through my mind. "Good", they answer all smug and self ritchous as they open the office door for me. "We value having you as a team player and want to keep you on board", they wave me off. "I quite", I tell the closing door. "WHAT?", big boss says, jerking the office door back open, all red in the face. "Quince", I answer. "Did we get any fresh ones in?"